He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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