My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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