Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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