currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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