Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
