It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
