I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
