hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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