so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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