You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
