We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize