In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
