Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize