i was born a porn star she said
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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