i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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