Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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  (204): I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right? http://tfl.nu/emft
  Replies (9) Good night (1216) Bad night (729)
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  (925): View more from California

  You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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  (925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5
  Replies (7) Good night (658) Bad night (2151)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.

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  (224): hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube (630): my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/cxvl
  Replies (17) Good night (7341) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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  (+44): he said i ruined lesbian porn for him http://tfl.nu/xboc
  Replies (12) Good night (1000) Bad night (3960)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid

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  (250): Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid http://tfl.nu/igue
  Replies (3) Good night (2705) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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  (970): She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim. http://tfl.nu/tftc
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (2447)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1168) Bad night (3809)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2398) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

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  (506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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  (802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

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  (585): He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants http://tfl.nu/sshj
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

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  (972): Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff. http://tfl.nu/rug2
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

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  (516): Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash http://tfl.nu/gbbj
  Replies (7) Good night (824) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.

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  (504): You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place. http://tfl.nu/e382
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run

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  (805): Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run http://tfl.nu/snuu
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (307)

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