Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?

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  (803): I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right? http://tfl.nu/ihkh
  Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (1964)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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  (336): If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed http://tfl.nu/a070
  Replies (20) Good night (8441) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.

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  (423): it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like. http://tfl.nu/iipz
  Replies (3) Good night (2849) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

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  (206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k
  Replies (8) Good night (3307) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He's cheating on her.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Are you sure it wasn't her?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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  (201): He's cheating on her. (973): Are you sure it wasn't her? (201): I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her. http://tfl.nu/sbt9
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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  (412): I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first http://tfl.nu/vbea
  Replies (4) Good night (1589) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick

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  (757): Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick http://tfl.nu/3rkl
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

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  (248): What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence? http://tfl.nu/gb31
  Replies (6) Good night (1259) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

  (1+44): View more from

  It's a podium place so yeah...

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  (+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg
  Replies (8) Good night (1421) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

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  (504): Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh? http://tfl.nu/qv7w
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.

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  (618): I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion. http://tfl.nu/gnl9
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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  (719): Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/h5no
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.

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  (386): correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart. http://tfl.nu/zuch
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.

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  (303): I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room. http://tfl.nu/4ego
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home

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  (630): Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/5dmw
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (244)

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