I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?