we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
