Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i don't like sucking hair

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  (760): i don't like sucking hair http://tfl.nu/yq6x
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (1454)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.

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  (404): There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man. http://tfl.nu/gtt8
  Replies (20) Good night (4326) Bad night (1170)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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  (902): Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better http://tfl.nu/2vo6
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (3749)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

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  (319): You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while. http://tfl.nu/w0el
  Replies (6) Good night (2907) Bad night (993)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.

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  (313): you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/cddz
  Replies (9) Good night (4873) Bad night (1300)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life

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  (484): If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life http://tfl.nu/iybt
  Replies (13) Good night (1425) Bad night (3077)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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  (504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1850) Bad night (800)
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  (310): View more from California

  He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.

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  (310): He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0w0d
  Replies (12) Good night (1527) Bad night (576)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

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  (203): Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks. http://tfl.nu/96bx
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (1410)
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  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (540)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (297)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.

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  (647): Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already. http://tfl.nu/9nhw
  Replies (6) Good night (327) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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  (484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (442)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates

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  (732): look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates http://tfl.nu/bp7h
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.

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  (401): Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché. http://tfl.nu/g4lg
  Replies (0) Good night (277) Bad night (198)

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