I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm at about main and main street
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
