i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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