Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
