he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize