It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
