Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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