do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
