I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
