She is in my trunk
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
