areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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