I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
