Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
