Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
