Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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