Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
