I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
