I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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