I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize