Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
