so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
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Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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