my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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