The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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