Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
