theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
