It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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