Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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