Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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