HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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