But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
