If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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