lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
