My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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