You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize