After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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