so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
