I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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