So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
