We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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