I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
