i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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