What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
